HeartCare Must-haves
We often exfoliate our skin to remove dead cells so new ones can come through; the same goes for our hearts. The hidden nature of our soul makes it difficult for us to see the dead weight that has built up over time.
Our physical appearance indeed takes the lead whenever we meet people for the first time, before our soul makes a debut in our conversations. However, I can't help but wonder how we got to the point of making more investments in our skincare than we did in our souls.
We do our hair, nails, brows, lashes and make our skin look like glass only to prepare a banquet for others to feast their eyes. I guess it's okay to eat up a look and leave tiny crumbs on where you got your top from, but what about your darling heart? It also deserves a spa day!
As a soul care activist, I present you with a few routines to make your heart shine brighter than your gloss. Enjoy!
Exfoliate
We often exfoliate our skin to remove dead cells so new ones can come through; the same goes for our hearts. The hidden nature of our soul makes it difficult for us to see the dead weight that has built up over time.
Our hearts can be exfoliated by confessing whatever proves not to be of God after careful and intentional reflection on our actions, belief systems or fears that no longer serve us purposefully. Thoroughly scrub by truthfully and sincerely journaling your experiences.
2. Cleanse
The same way our skin gathers dirt, our soul gathers worry, regrets, shame and bitterness. Be kind to yourself whenever you fall short.
It's hard, but forgive those who have offended you. Holding on to the hurt only clogs your heart's pores and makes it difficult to let people who mean well in. Release your burdens in prayer or therapy, or by speaking with a loving friend; it's really helpful!
3. Moisturize
You have to get all the good stuff in! Frantically rub it in, if you have to. No, please, be gentle, actually. Feed your soul with the Word of God, read books that align with your values, and listen to music that makes life seem like a bed of roses. You can also make yourself a nice meal, listen to great conversations, and compliment yourself. Receive a hug, or give one instead.
4. Protect
Sunscreen protects our skin from unseen damage. Likewise, gratitude protects our hearts from the little things that jeopardize our joy, like comparison and discontentment.
Being grateful for where you currently are doesn't mean you can't reach for greater heights. It reminds your heart to be present, to see the goodness of God in the now. Incorporating 5 things you're grateful for into your daily journaling is a great way to start.
Written by Favour Ara
Your life is very normal and good enough
Our assessment of our stories suffers from an unfair asymmetry. We know our own lives from the inside but generally only encounter other people’s in heavily, edited, sanitized form from the outside
If you’ve ever gone through series of heartbreaks or a failed romantic relationship, or several years of not being able to get a job, you may wonder how statistically normal your case might be, you may start to feel like your short comings are a unique curse. But in actuality they are not unique. Every single person on earth isn’t exempted from trials. Even our Lord Jesus Christ went through his own fair share of trials and tribulations when He took on the form of man.
Our assessment of our stories suffers from an unfair asymmetry. We know our own lives from the inside but generally only encounter other people’s in heavily, edited, sanitized form from the outside. We see other people’s relationships, careers, progress, marriages, in social situations where politeness and cheeriness are the rule. We seem to trust the blurred summaries of their lives. But we don’t have access to footages from the bedroom, we can’t see their everyday difficulties.
We can’t help but be aware of our own situation. Because of this asymmetric analysis, we come to the conclusion that our own lives and relationships are a great deal darker and far more painful than is common. We need to be fair to ourselves and our loved ones to create space in our minds for the scale of our ignorance. In actual fact, we simply don’t know. We are lacking data. We owe ourselves a richer picture of love than we have.
Misery is actually a rule, isolation, pining for a lover, some peace and compatibility, joblessness, being broke, confusion, far more than the public sources ever admit. It’s not that your life is damned. But sometimes, life is inescapably a difficult project. Part of the reason why we are so miserable is because we have the wrong kind of art. The movies we watch are oddly coy and cheesy. The novels don’t tell it how it is. The truth is the dominant emotion in most relationships is ambivalence. That is a complex mixture of love and hate.
Your life is very normal and good enough.
Written by Nkem Eteri
TO NOTICE AND TO LOVE
When I was three years old, I fell into a bucket of hot water, and that experience left me with a scarred right leg. For the longest time, I thought I was a "trouser person", but of recent, I realized that the reason I ran away from styling dresses and skirts was because I was trying to hide.
It's one thing to accept the seeming "imperfections" we were born with, and another to learn to live with the scars life gives us.
When I was three years old, I fell into a bucket of hot water, and that experience left me with a scarred right leg. For the longest time, I thought I was a "trouser person", but of recent, I realized that the reason I ran away from styling dresses and skirts was because I was trying to hide.
In secondary school, I had to wear skirts, though. Looking back now, I see how I survived those six years of my life by ignoring my scar. But that was just a front, backstage I was down to trying any method or lotion for clearing my scar, however unhealthy or damaging it was to my skin.
It was in those years of "ignoring to survive" that I met the Lord, who started teaching me to "see in order to thrive". Walking with God, who was able to take all of me in at a glance, was difficult. Because ABBA is fond of seeing you fully, and loving you ever so completely.
The saying that goes, "see yourself as God sees you," took a whole new turn for me. It wasn't just about appreciating myself from God's perspective but choosing not to look over some parts of myself when I look in the mirror. I had to learn that my scar wasn't only an evidence that I survived an accident but a testament that God is faithful. My mum used to tell me how the doctor told her I wouldn't be able to walk properly anymore because of an imbalance. Now I laugh when my friends call me Maserati feet because of how fast I walk.
When I look at my scar now, I remember that my body is just healing. However slow the process may be. That beauty and "perfection" isn't some destination when my scar eventually fades completely, the journey itself is beautiful. Attempting to speed up my healing process with chemicals and not letting it take its natural course is me being unkind to myself.
Today, and every day to come, I'm choosing not to be ashamed of my skin's victories and hide her process, but to fully embrace it.
What about you? How have you been learning to see and love yourself fully?
Written by Favour Ara